8-Bit Theater
Episode 083
Episode 83
Get used to it, Doc
A Shout Out to All You Web-Heads Out There
Date Published Wednesday, October 3rd, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 082: White Mage Like You've Never Seen Her...
Next Comic Episode 084: Maybe He's Greedy For a Good Cause?
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Dr. Swordopolis meets Fighter in the subconscious.

Cast AppearingEdit



FighterAwww nuts. Another black formless void of the subconscious. Oh well, bring on the hot sword-girls, yo.
SwordopolisGreetings, Fighter.
FighterThis is not what I meant when I said 'sword-girl.'
SwordopolisWhat the... no, I'm not a sword-girl, I'm just a sword. My name is Dr. Swordopolis.
FighterLook, dream-world. Either give me full on sword-girls or don't. Why bother half-assing it, hm?
SwordopolisYou're not listening.
FighterAt least you could've given me the girl half instead.
SwordopolisFighter! Pay attention. This is a very important message about your destiny!
FighterOK, right. Paying attention now.
SwordopolisThe sword. It is as much an instrument of peace... it is an instrument of war. Throughout the ages, the sword has been--

FighterCould you sorta fast forward to the point? I have what doctors call a short attention sp--ooh, something shiny!
FighterEr... sorry.
SwordopolisOK, let's see. Yadda yadda, destiny, blah blah, importance of swords as symbols of power throughout history...
FighterDum de dum...
SwordopolisHere we go. Ready?
FighterSure, why not?
SwordopolisDid you choose the sword, or did the sword choose you?
FighterPffft! That's easy. I chose the sword. They're quite shiny.
SwordopolisWhat... no. You're not listening again. You see, the point of the question is not the question itself, but rather to question whether or not you had any choice in the matter of becoming a swords man in the first place.
FighterOf course I did. I was all "hey, swords are cool." So I attended Fighter's Camp back in '86 and that Vargus dude was all like--
SwordopolisThat's it!

I've had enough. I relayed the message, my job here is done. So just wake up and get stabbed by Black Mage.

FighterDr. Swordopolis, don't leave me!
SwordopolisWhy am I always stuck with the idiots? I'm the very incarnation of sword. I shouldn't have to put up with things like this...
Back at the inn, Black Mage is trying to stab Fighter with his dagger.
Black MageArgh! How am I supposed to stab him to death when I can't get through his damned armor?!
Fighter wakes up.
FighterHey, were you trying to stab me just now?
Black MageStupid armor. I'm goin' back to sleep.

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