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8-Bit Theater
Episode 090
8bt0090
Even when he's getting mauled to death by werewolves, Red Mage is as descriptive as ever
Episode 090: It Would've Been a Good Idea
Date Published Friday, October 26th, 2001
Previous Comic Episode 089: Random Close Encounters of the Deadly Kind
Next Comic Episode 091: Poor Red Mage
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Red Mage has a plan: to get mauled to near-death by werewolves.

Cast AppearingEdit

SettingEdit

ScriptEdit

ThiefYou better know what you're doing, Red Mage.
Red MageI make it my business to know what I'm doing!
Black MageThat doesn't even make sense.
Red MageHow can I tell them I failed my int check to make up a witty retort?

Answer:: I do not!

The point is we cannot defeat these werewolves with standard tactics.

FighterStandard what?
Black MagePut the pointy end into the squishy things that scream and bleed.
FighterOhhhhh. Why didn't y'say so?
Red MageThese are werewolves, you see. They can heal from any injury. Save those which cause them aggravated damage!
ThiefIsn't all damage aggravating? I know it annoys me when I get hit.
Black MageOh man, and those Potions. The aftertaste is worse than coke! And you can't tell me it's healthy to knock back like ten of those things every day. I swear, having to drink those is at least as aggravating as taking the damage itself!
Red MageListen! Werewolves take aggravated damage from silver weapons. It is their one weakness.

Therefore, since I undoubtedly have the best dodge pool, I'll run amongst them and you guys assail them with your silver weaponry--which I'll assume you all brought, like me, just in case of such a supernatural emergency--while they're distracted.

Sidestep specialty, don't fail me now!

Red Mage charges at the werewolves offscreen.
Red MageYAAAR!!!
The werewolves maul Red Mage offscreen.
Red Mage(offscreen) ARRRRRRGH! OH, SWEET JESUS! IT HURTS!
FighterDodge pool?
ThiefIs that like a water based version of dodge ball?
Black MageWow. Red Mage has a lot of blood...
Red Mage(offscreen) Their claws are raking through my flesh like a +2/+2 Sword of Wounding! Arrrrrgh!
Black MageBut not as much blood as he had about five minutes ago, of course.

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