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8-Bit Theater
Episode 155
Episode 153
Hey hey there tall drink of water how you... OH GOD!!!
Ponderous Rhetoric
Date Published Monday, May 27th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 152: And Then There Were Two. Or Three.
Next Comic Episode 154: It Was A Nice Try. As Usual.
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Red Mage attempts to convince the Giant that he doesn't exist.

SettingEdit

Cast AppearingEdit

ScriptEdit

Red MageLook at you. So looming, so huge, so powerful. You think you've won, don't you?
Isn't that right, Mr. Gianty Giant Person?
Somehow you managed to get the two--admittedly dull--brain cells trapped in that cavernous wasteland you casually refer to as a "skull" to bump into one another and from the friction borne of that chance meeting you got the idea that you can just stomp around the overworld accosting random travelers such as we and do nasty, monsterous things to them which would be highly inventive treatises on the realm of agony if not for the fact that your woefully inadequate intellect can only summon up enough originality and purposefullness to smash us with your very large club.
And you think this is just fine.
GiantWELL, YEAH. THE WHOLE POINT OF BEING GIANT IS THAT IT GIVES YOU A SORT OF BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE TO SQUISH THINGS OF LESSER GIANTRY, I.E. YOURSELVES.
Red MageAh-ha! I'm glad you brought up matters of a biological nature, my friend. very glad.
You see, it was this very point which I had hoped to address in your company.
Ideally, this would happen before you squish us.
Red MagePrepare to be flabbergasted by my stupendous debating and public speech skills.
FighterShould I hold on to something?
Red MageSeems to me that these environs are predisposed to not supporting giants.
GiantHOW SO? THE GROUND'S BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD ME UP, ISN'T IT. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
Red MageIt's not a question of ground-to-giant ratio, it's a question of potential-food-to-giant ratio.
I mean, seriously, how do you expect a habitat inclined towards beings of my stature to be able to support a single creature of your great girth.
Much less an entire race of you.
It is my contention, dear Mr. Giant, that you do not actually exist.
Hell, just looking at you I can think of half a dozen reasons why you're not really there.

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