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8-Bit Theater
Episode 198
Episode 198
Like getting stabbed in the back
No Good Can Come of This Either
Date Published Monday, September 30th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 197: Black Mage is a Poor Role Model
Next Comic Episode 199: We Have Reached a New Low
Read Episode

White Mage and Black Belt retire to their tent barr- ah, screw it.

Cast AppearingEdit

SettingEdit

  • White Mage's Tent
  • Burger Bar

ScriptEdit

White Mage and Black Belt are in their tent. Black Belt is standing guard while White Mage is kneeling on a sleeping bag.
White MageThanks for standing guard at the entrance, Black Belt.
Black BeltNo problem. That's what I'm here for.
White MageI just know that little idiot will try something and I'm not in the mood for it.
White MageHe let you rot in that creep monster, he was dancing on the armoire that was crushing Fighter to death, he attacked Red Mage for no reason, made several rude comments to me throughout, and he completely ruined our story session.
And that was just this evening's transgressions!
Black BeltIt's almost as if he's not a Light Warrior at all.
White MageIt does seem that way sometimes, doesn't it.
Black BeltWhat with the rampant evil and the inclination toward brutal violence.
White MageAnd the others aren't exactly as... heroic as one would expect.
Thief would sooner steal from charity than lift a finger to save the world.
Fighter seems nice, but he's a complete idiot.
And Red Mage is as bad as Thief in his ways.
White MageBut they must be the Light Warriors. Who else would be?
Meanwhile...
The Real Light Warriors are working in a fast food joint.
Knight (thinking) I hate my life.
Ninja
Red Wizard
White Wizard
Staff (out of frame) These burnt fries are comin' out of your check, Mr. Ninja!
Cut back to White Mage and Black Belt. White Mage has taken her hood off. Black Mage rushes in with a knife to capture Black Belt without White Mage realising.
White MageI suppose we must accept that fate works in mysterious ways.
White MageAfter all, when I analyze the events of my life and how they have placed me here, with you and the Light Warriors, it's almost like I was never really in control. I've always felt like there was, for lack of a better word, a force guiding me along my path. Surely it is for some greater purpose. Surely I am meant to assist the Light Warriors. Why else would I be here?
Black Mage replaces Black Belt and is wearing Black Belt's clothes.
White MageAnd I do thank you, Black Belt.
You are obligated to be my bodyguard, and nothing more, yet you have been a true friend to me.
Your company is perhaps all that has kept me sane.

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