8-Bit Theater
Episode 201
Super Ultra Fine Print
Now all visiters to this page have to give Thief a quarter!
Does He Work for Best Buy?
Date Published Tuesday, October 8th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 200: Thief Likes Money
Next Comic Episode 202: Samurai Jack Action
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Thief outsmarts Black Mage once again.

Cast AppearingEdit


First Mention OfEdit


Black Mage waits outside the green tent.
Black MageThief and I need to have a serious discussion about the quality of his suck-ass products.
Thief walks out of the tent.
ThiefJudging by your slanderous remarks, I assume that you'd like to have the rights to your share of our treasures back, hm?
Black MageYa darned tootin'.
Black MageNot only did your plan for me to win White Mage's heart fail, but it failed miserably! She hates me now! Which, according to me babedar, is the opposite of how she used to feel about me!
ThiefThe fact that you believe in something called "babedar" alone leads me to conclude that it's always wrong.
Black MageThe point is that I am not satisfied with the product or survice you provided me. Therefore, I am exercising my right as a consumer to return your wares for my money. It's in that contract you made me sign, so gimme.
ThiefOh I think not. Take a closer look at that contract.
Black MageGrumble rassa frackin' hoffen feffer mutter...
Black Mage looks at the contract.
ThiefNow look closer. Closer. Closer still...
Black MageWhat, you mean this part here?
Ahem: "Satisfaction guaranteed, or your treasure back"?
ThiefYes. Now really concentrate on that line.
See that harmless dot of ink between satisfaction and guaranteed?
Black MageBarely... What the--!
close up of the script. The word "(not)" is written really small between "Satisfaction" and "Guaranteed".
Black MageYou magnificent bastard!
ThiefI invented it. It's called "super ultra fine print", I own the copyright, you owe me a quarter just the reading it!
Black Mage looks at Thief, then the contract, then Thief again.
Black MageI hate you.


  • Before the Nuklear Power website was revamped, this comic was originally called "Episode 201: Does He Work for Best Buy? In memory of Jesse James Schosek and Nathan Larkins we will miss you". While the title has now been shortened, its full title still appears in the comic's URL.

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