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8-Bit Theater
Episode 233
Episode 233
They missed the apple.
An All Too Familiar Doom
Date Published Tuesday December 7th, 2002
Previous Comic Episode 232: National Pride
Next Comic Episode 234: Smart Bomb
Read Episode

The Elves give the Light Warriors an arrow. How nice of them.

Cast AppearingEdit

SettingsEdit

  • Elven Security Station Alpha, Elfland
  • Bikke's ship, Aldi Sea

ScriptEdit

The computer screen now reads:-
GIANT CANNON STATUS: READY. AIMING STATUS: GRAVITATION, AND MAGNETIC ANOMALY COMPENSATED.
Elven Archer(On the computer screen) Giant cannon ready on your mark, captain.
Elven Captain...Fire.
TWANG
The Archer fires an arrow.
Elven ArcherThe target will be at the minimum safe distance at the point of impact.
Elven CaptainPrepare the defenses for a tidal backlash.
Elven Archer(On the computer screen) Yes sir!
Meanwhile...
Back on Bikke's ship.
Black Mage(to Thief) And that's why elves are, scientifically speaking, dumbasses.
ThiefWhat does any of that have to do with us slowing down?
Black MageGeez, Thief. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were an elf-lover.
With a WOOSH!, the arrow falls towards the ship.
ThiefEr, no! Why, I hate their ancient and revered culture as much as the next heathen.
The arrow hits Red Mage's hat and sticks it onto the mast pole.
Red MageThat looks just like my-- Hey!
ThiefOh ye Gods! I didn't think they'd be foolish enough to do it, but they've done it!
They actually built the... Giant Cannon!
Red MageThe fools! They have only succeeded in increasing my arrow inventory!
Black MageLeave it to the elves to build a giant cannon just to launch one stupid arrow.
It gets darker.
ThiefI don't think you fully understand the principles at work behind the Giant Cannon.
It gets darker still.
Black MageWhat I understand is that...
Wait, the Black Mage's Almanac didn't mention an eclipse.
ThiefWe are doomed.

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