8-Bit Theater
Episode 249
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'Tis a Fair Court
Date Published Thursday February 13th, 2003
Previous Comic Episode 248: Dream Analysis
Next Comic Episode 250: Is That Plot Thickening I Smell?
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Elf Law in Action!

Cast AppearingEdit



Dr. MalpracticeChancellor, we must attend to the morning business.
AstosOh, if we must.
AstosThe only thing that makes the daily tedium bearable is knowing that I have power over life and death.
Bring in the next batch of prisoners, guard!
The Real Light Warriors are led into the throne room by a guard.
AstosWhat charges has the grand state of Elf Land brought against these brutes?
Dr. MalpracticeThey stand accused of being humans on a sunny day.
AstosAnd how do you criminal scum plead? Guilty? Or do you feel like lying to me today?
KnightWhoa, hold it. "Human on a sunny day"? How is that a crime?!
AstosIt's a crime against nature as far as the Kingdom of Elf is concerned, sonny.
Naturally, if you can give me evidence supporting the evolutionary superiority of round ears, then you're free to go.
AstosOf course, since we don't allow fiction as evidence, you're boned.
KnightBut it wasn't even a sunny day when you arrested us!
AstosAccording to the Fairness of Weather Act, the "sunny day" laws are applicable during any and all local weather conditions.
KnightThis is madness!
AstosNo, this is the law: I sentence you to death!
KnightIsn't there an appellate court?
AstosYou could try bribing the executioner, if you like.
AstosBring in the next prisoners.
Black MageDoes it worry anyone else that no one has come out of that court alive?
Elf GuardYou have been summoned, prisoner scum!

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