8-Bit Theater
Episode 379
Comic 379
"At LEAST RM's logic makes sense..."
Vampire Anatomy 101
Date Published Tuesday February 3rd, 2004
Previous Comic Episode 378: It’s Kinda Catchy
Next Comic Episode 380: Introducing...
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Cast AppearingEdit


  • In front of the Von Vampire Residence


Red MageAnd Drop!
Fighter drops the Armorie of Invincibility on Vilbert.
FighterDid we get him?
VilbertOh, sweet lady agony, you are the only reminder that unlife still flows through my veins!
Black MageOkay, killing does not take this long.
What's the hold up?
Red MageWe are having some trouble hitting his heart.
FighterOn the bright side, we've nailed most of his other organs.
It's taken the fight out of him.
VilbertMy dark pancreas of the damned shalt never be the same!
FighterYeah, and his liver of decay is completely shot.
Red MageC'mon, let's try again.
Red MageHeave!
Fighter lifts the Armorie, and drops it again on Vilbert.
Black MageI think that was his neck.
Red MageLook at it this way.
The more puncture holes there are, the less surface area there is...
So it becomes increasingly likely that we'll get it right.
VilbertOde to mine suffering, by Vilbert.
Vilbert(reciting in background)
My life is torment.
Who are you, misunderstander?
My life is torment.
What are you, mean, bully, jock?
My life is torment.
What is a soul, if not a bowl of pain?
A bowl of pain.
A bowl of pain.
Black MageFaster, faster, faster, faster!

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