8-Bit Theater
Episode 517
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Date Published Saturday, February 19th, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 516: Liberally Bleeding Heart
Next Comic Episode 518: Iced
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Red Mage introduces his cold fusion reactor, and the team thinks its a great idea... to kill him.

Cast AppearingEdit


  • Unnamed tundra


Black MageYou've created a giant block of ice.
Red MageIn a form of a cold fusion reactor, yes.
Black MageEr, of course.
Now, explain how this was going to help us survive?
Red MageGiven: Fusion creates energy. Energy begets heat.
Therefore cold fusion makes cold energy that gives off cold heat.
Black MageWhat?
Red MageBut since we want warm, or "non-imaginary" forms of heat, we'd have to reverse it.
The opposite of cold fusion is cold fission, see?
That's why I needed Fighter. He was going to split the ice.
Cold fission would make hot cold, and warm us in this desolate place.
Red MageHe'd split it with his sword.
Black MageOh, I get it.
Red MageNow that Fighter is down, we'll have to try something else.
ThiefLike take advantage of the fact that ice is a natural insulator of heat and hollow out an ice shelter to block bitter winds that are assaulting us.
Red MageThief, this is no time for your crazy voodoo physics. Ice is cold, so it would insulate coldness.
Red MageNo, our course is clear.
We must build an even larger block of ice to push this one onto Fighter's sword at a precise angle thus splitting it to unleash precious cold fission energies.
Black MageI should like to hire you for an assassination, good sir.
ThiefOh, no. This one is free of charge. I insist.

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