8-Bit Theater
Episode 575
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Rats Of Unusual Size
Date Published Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 574: Totally Blown Away
Next Comic Episode 576: Racial Violence
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Stuck in a potentially awkward situation.

Cast AppearingEdit



ThiefI know you guys aren't elves, but even your species must have some limit to stupidity hard coded into your base DNA.

The dragon you met may be a king, but it is of hobos and his only claim to Godhood is how he feels after a few bottles of hooch.

I turn around for five minutes to set up an incredibly profitable business...

...And you guys are taking orders from a drunk, subterranean man in a soiled dragon outfit he made out of discarded rat skins sewn together with clumps of his own hair.
Red MageWe promised to kill a Dire Rat for him.
ThiefThat's another thing.
What's so dire about a rat?
Red MageIt's commonly known that simply adding the term "dire" to any existing animal species will produce a larger, sinister variant of that animal.
Take, for example, the dreaded Dire Elk.
Arrow pointing at elk saying: Extremely dire
ThiefThat's the stupidest thing I've heard that didn't involve dragon gods or their kings.
Black MageNo, a Dire Elk bit my sister once.
FighterYou have a sister too?
Black MageWell, I wouldn't use the present tense to describe any member of my family, but yeah.
ThiefThe point is, your hobo friend wanted you to bring back the tail of a fictional animal.
ThiefI don't think he's going to be disappointed or surprised when you fail.
Silence...cut to Thief, with Berserker Axinhed behind him.

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