|Like spontaneous combustion!|
|Sea Gods Are Pussies|
|Date Published||Saturday, July 23, 2005|
|Previous Comic||Episode 579: Little Miracles|
|Next Comic||Episode 581: Of Tricksters and Thieves|
If you're looking for a reliable god, try Chuck Norris. He'll be the answer to your problems!
|Red Mage||You're. Y'know. You're wearing, um, rat.|
|Red Mage||(thinking) Okay, don't panic. Just keep talking and he might not rip your face off with his teeth and pee on what's left...|
|Red Mage||Do that often?|
|Berserker||Only when hunting for Dire Rats.|
|Cleric||I prayed to the Trickster God to fix your friend up.|
The Blue Book of Divinity doesn't list a single prayer for tricksters, so I had to wing it.
|Cut to the Blue Book: 12th Edition|
An Illustrated Guide With Prices for Classic & Collectible Gods
|Black Mage||Yeah, it's because they screw you faster than a two dollar whore.|
And usually with a shiv they convinced you to make.
|Cleric||Oh, I'm sure you're thinking of some other god.|
The one I met gave me this healing shiv.
|Black Mage||Okay. Cleric isn't good with gods.|
|Cleric||(muttering) Which end does the healing...|
|Ranger||Quite the contrary, really.|
We'd have never made it to this island if not for Cleric's prayers to the Sea Gods.
|Cleric||Of course, the gods work in mysterious ways.|
Like a healing shiv.
|Ranger||For instance, we got here via shipwreck.|
|Cleric||The part that confuses me, though, is that we weren't actually in a ship.|
|Cleric||Or anywhere near an ocean.|
|Cleric||So very mysterious.|