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8-Bit Theater
Episode 580
050723
Like spontaneous combustion!
Sea Gods Are Pussies
Date Published Saturday, July 23, 2005
Previous Comic Episode 579: Little Miracles
Next Comic Episode 581: Of Tricksters and Thieves
Read Episode

If you're looking for a reliable god, try Chuck Norris. He'll be the answer to your problems!

Cast AppearingEdit

SettingEdit

ScriptEdit

Red MageSo.
Red MageYou're. Y'know. You're wearing, um, rat.
BerserkerOh, indeed.
Red Mage(thinking) Okay, don't panic. Just keep talking and he might not rip your face off with his teeth and pee on what's left...
Red MageDo that often?
BerserkerOnly when hunting for Dire Rats.
ClericI prayed to the Trickster God to fix your friend up.
The Blue Book of Divinity doesn't list a single prayer for tricksters, so I had to wing it.
Cut to the Blue Book: 12th Edition
An Illustrated Guide With Prices for Classic & Collectible Gods
Black MageYeah, it's because they screw you faster than a two dollar whore.
And usually with a shiv they convinced you to make.
ClericOh, I'm sure you're thinking of some other god.
The one I met gave me this healing shiv.
Black MageOkay. Cleric isn't good with gods.
Cleric(muttering) Which end does the healing...
RangerQuite the contrary, really.
We'd have never made it to this island if not for Cleric's prayers to the Sea Gods.
ClericOf course, the gods work in mysterious ways.
Like a healing shiv.
RangerFor instance, we got here via shipwreck.
ClericThe part that confuses me, though, is that we weren't actually in a ship.
ClericOr anywhere near an ocean.
ClericSo very mysterious.

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