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8-Bit Theater
Episode 950
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Stop, Drop, And Roll Is For Morons
Date Published Friday February 1st, 2008
Previous Comic Episode 949: You Could Be Swingin’ On A Star
Next Comic Episode 951: When Life Gives You Firelemons
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Black Mage has issues, man.

Cast Appearing Edit

Script Edit

Black Mage is complaining to Fighter.
Black MageI have to say.

The, uh, decor doesn't quite live up to the high-tech image from the legends. It's got all the rustic charm of an old shed in the woods utilized exclusively by drunk hobos who, more often than not, wake up covered in filth that may or may not be their own.

That's the polite way to put it.

The impolite way begins with me uttering a prayer to the unmaker of all things and ends with fire falling out of the sky until this oversized hovel is but a smoking memory.

Red Mage appears, still on fire.
Red MageYou've got issues, man.
Black MageFirst of all, shut the hell up. And second of all, aren't you dead?
Red MageNope. I've been casting Life 2 on myself. Or Life 3. Whichever.
Black MageWhat I know about white magic could fill a thimble halfway, but I know both of those are out of your league.
Red MageI know that and you know that, but I don't know that.
Black MageI wish I could unhear that.
Red Mage falls to the floor, seemingly dead, then uses a heal spell on himself.
Red MageSee? No harm done.

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