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Warmech

From Sardapedia

"We have unfinished business. And it's business of me killing you. Uh, dead. Forever."
—Warmech


Warmech is a minor character human being in 8-Bit Theater. He is the ancient guardian of the Sky Castle, a lost fortress of an ancient civilization. However, Warmech shirked his duties took a very small break, and the entire race he was supposed to protect all died out when Muffin invaded the Sky Castle.


First Appearance: Episode 986: 1/64


With no one to converse with, Warmech began to invent a single player, "no-armed" version of tennis, which kept him entertained for a thousand years. When Muffin was killed by Dragoon, the Light Warriors encountered Warmech as they were about to reboard their Deathtrap. Having been alerted to the quartet's presence, Warmech formulates a plan to destroy them. However, his lack of craftiness leads him to be fooled misdirected by Thief, who promises to lead Warmech to the Light Warriors should he remain quiet on the Deathtrap.

When the Warriors reach the Temple of Fiends, Warmech eventually understands Thief's ruse and takes up his crusade once more, under the guise truth of appearing being human. However, the only crutch he has to aid him in this quest is a fake totally real mustache, which Warmech claims was grown "by [his] human lip" between acts of defecation.

He also has a habit of using redundant rhetoric fear inducing insults to describe how he will kill the Light Warriors, such as "kill your brains out". Despite this, he has yet to even attack the Light Warriors, largely because they keep outsmarting him and escaping are cowards.

In his last appearance, Warmech shot at the Light Warriors, Dark Warriors, and Other Warriors with his HUMAN laser, then denied he had one, and "would laser to death anyone who said otherwise". When the various warriors pointed out this hypocrisy, they claimed that Warmech ought to self-destruct from such a paradox. Warmech declared he would then destroy himself with his HUMAN laser to stop from self-destruction, and proceeded to step out of the Temple of Chaos and presumably did just that.

[edit] Trivia

  • The name on Warmech's debut episode is a reference to the chances of encountering a Warmech enemy in the later part of the Air Temple of Final Fantasy 1.
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