Warmech

"We have unfinished business. And it's business of me killing you. Uh, dead. Forever."

—Warmech

Warmech is a minor character human being in 8-Bit Theater. He is the ancient guardian of the Sky Castle, a lost fortress of an ancient civilization. He is the final relic of the civilization as the Sky Castle was the penultimate. However, Warmech shirked his duties took a very short and certainly inconsequential break, and the entire race he was supposed to protect all died out when Muffin invaded the Sky Castle. Apparently a few of the survivors remain in the form of either Dragoon or the Lufenians. There *were* the Sky Warriors, but they are all presumed dead.

First Appearance: Episode 986: 1/64

With no one to converse with, Warmech began to invent a single player, "no-armed" version of tennis, which kept him in the process of slowly being driven insane entertained while still attending to his necessary duties for a thousand years. When Muffin was killed by Dragoon, the Light Warriors encountered Warmech as they were about to board their Deathtrap Airship. Having been alerted to the quartet's presence, Warmech formulates a plan to destroy them. However, his lack of craftiness leads him to be fooled misdirected by Thief, who promises to lead Warmech to the Light Warriors should he remain quiet on the Deathtrap Airship. Warmech pays Thief with a Datasphere.

When the Warriors reach the Temple of Fiends, Warmech eventually understands Thief's ruse and takes up his crusade once more, under the guise truth of appearing being human. However, the only crutch he has to aid him in this quest is a fake totally real mustache, which Warmech claims was grown "by [his] human lip" between acts of defecation. He then declares himself to not know "Warmech" but to still feel sorry for him with his array of robotic AI human emotion.

He also has a habit of using redundant rhetoric fear inducing insults to describe how he will kill the Light Warriors, such as "kill your brains out". Despite this, he has yet to even attack the Light Warriors, largely because they keep outsmarting him and escaping are cowards and flee before his overall ineptness and lack of functional weapons almighty cybernetic human powers.

In his last appearance, Warmech shot at the Light Warriors, Dark Warriors, and Other Warriors with his robot HUMAN laser, then denied he had one, and "would laser to death anyone who said otherwise". When the various warriors pointed out this hypocritical logical fallacy, they claimed that Warmech ought to self-destruct from such a paradox. Warmech declared he would then destroy himself with his nuclear antimatter catalyzed cybernetic HUMAN laser to stop from self-destruction, and proceeded to step out of the Temple of Fiends and presumably did just that. The warriors joke that it's no surprise the civilization that created him went extinct.

Trivia

• The name on Warmech's debut episode is a reference to the chances of encountering a Warmech enemy in the later part of the Air Temple of Final Fantasy 1.
• Warmech giving Thief a Datasphere is likely a reference to how a robot being gives the player a Warp Cube in the original Final Fantasy so as to go to the Flying Fortress. However, this should have occurred before the events ultimately leading to the acquisition of the Air Orb.